FLAGS 

They’re flown next to each other outside government buildings, convention centers, and hotels where International events are being held.

They’re symbols of union, reminders that, in spite of our differences, cooperation between countries in the only path to a brighter future for all of us.

Nice discourse, but what’s happening behind the scenes is quite different. There’s no friendship between flags, and most of the time they’re just waiting for a vigorous gust of wind to slap each other in the face. Or at least get close enough to make their curses heard.

Because many flags have similar designs, plagiarism is a frequent accusation. Color choices are often ridiculed. The flag of Mauritius, for example (red, blue, green, and yellow bands) is said to be the result of a one-night stand between France and Brazil.

Malicious gossip has it that the flag of Guam is a beach postcard seen from inside a vagina. The source, believed to be the flag of Canada, was in turn mocked by the flag of Wales, who described it as an ad for maple syrup. So far, no flag has been brave enough to mess with the flag of Wales and its red dragon bully.

Flags curses are the worse:

“May all your stripes and stars fall in the sewer and be eaten by rabid rats,” was a common one against the American flag during the Soviet era. The green cedar tree in the Lebanese flag has been cursed for centuries. A well known example: “You will be hit by lightning after 100 years of infestation by giant aphids.”

It makes you think, if flags are just combinations of colors and shapes, what makes them behave like catty participants of beauty pageants?