BAG LADIES’ BAGS 

Some of us have things written on our foreheads, figuratively speaking. Plastic bags have them for real. However, they don’t choose or mean what those words say. Thanks For Shopping With Us is something they’d never come up with.

Sometimes bags are tied into knots by people with idle minds, which makes them really mad and useless. Sometimes, when left alone, the wind will help them take flight and move away really fast. Is a good blast of air what they’re waiting for when we see them loitering and littering the sidewalk?

Sometimes they’re overfilled; plastic bags cannot control what is put into them, so they often stretch and weaken in places, forming streaks, like pregnant bellies.

Thanks to the dependence bag ladies have on plastic bags to keep their belongings dry and safe, used plastic bags can get conceited to the point of becoming delusional. They’ve been known to humiliate paper bags publicly, and even burden themselves with impossibly ambitious endeavors.