MOTORS

Perhaps the most psychotic of all machines, motors repeat themselves compulsively. This behavior generates heat and friction, wearing out their parts and ultimately destroying them.


To prevent motors from grinding themselves into piles of molten metal, they’re infused with heavy oils. This will delay, but not prevent, their collapse.


Motors are bipolar; they’re either dead quiet or very loud. They can’t start or fuel themselves, and keeping them clean is a challenge: incontinence sets in early, and fluids will leak.


Like mechanical junkies, motors depend on explosive liquids or deadly electrical currents to be functional. The way they see it, motion is violence; they don’t believe things like clocks and music boxes can be powered by such delicate and quiet mechanisms, and without releasing any fumes. For them, it’s got to be a hoax.


The tormented lives of motors are followed by equally inglorious endings, corroded and abandoned in junkyards, their gaskets worn out, their shafts unable to turn.