HATS 

Overheard at the Department of Hat Complaints:

From a Pork Pie: “Hats can’t wear hats!”

From a Homburg: “We crown people’s heads, yet we’re not considered regal.”

From a Panama: “We rhyme with cats, rats, bats and fats.”

“And what’s so bad about that?” the clerk challenged the Panama, “scarf rhymes with barf, shoes rhyme with booze, and we never had a single complaint about that.

The Panama cleared its throat: “My cousin, a fine Fedora, was on a man’s head when the wind made him fly and land on the roof of a house. The man rang the bell and a deaf old lady opened the door. My hat is on your roof, the man said.

“Oh, it’s all right, the lady said, cats like going there because the tiles are warm.

“Not a cat, my hat! the man yelled.

“The lady replied: That’s strange, bats usually hide under the roof during the day.

“My hat, lady!

“How dare you call me a fat lady? she said, and slammed the door.

“My cousin was never seen again.