MEN’S NECKTIES 

Maybe only headbands and eye patches require less fabric to make.

The unsubstantiality of ties is best observed when they are put over generously cut shirts, or long, double-breasted trench coats.

Ties see themselves as whatever’s left on the clothing factory’s floor after a day’s work, byproducts of worthy garments, the gift of choice of cheap, lazy people without imaginations, bibs for drooling fools, unwilling symbols of the establishment, irrelevant, suffocating strips of fabric with fancy names on their way out of men’s wardrobes, just like it happened with suspenders.

When that day comes, expect to see a lot of them hanging by their own necks.