Wednesday, March 20, 2019


PENCIL SHAVINGS 

The squeamish may see pencil shavings as the painful result of skinning writing instruments.

The scientific mind will see them as the shedding and renovation of the outermost membrane of a pencil’s tissue.

For the spiritual, pencil shavings are seen as the desirable loss of material layers that expose the naked graphite soul.

And what do pencils think? They don’t.

Pencils were made to express other people’s ideas, not to think.

Sunday, March 17, 2019


CHEAP THINGS 

Dollar store articles, one imagines, must certainly be envious of their brand name counterparts.

Fancy products, on the other hand, must view cheap stuff with contempt.

Seems logical enough but the truth is, they’re unaware of each other. Value is a concept invented by humans, and never adopted by silverware, make-up sets, or coffee mugs.

A Bugatti doesn’t feel any different from a VW Beetle. A Hermés handbag doesn’t consider itself superior to a shopping bag from the Gap.

Objects will never understand why a certain label could make them more desirable. Quality, rarity, durability, performance, these are all concepts created by humans and too abstract for objects to grasp.

Friday, March 8, 2019


THE WAITING ROOM.
A play

MAGAZINE RACK
(to PERSIAN RUG)
These magazines are so old, some have Liz Taylor’s first wedding on the cover.

PERSIAN RUG
How can you trust a dentist that never replaces his magazines?

MAGAZINE RACK
He’s such a miser.

PERSIAN RUG
Not the kind of flaw you want to see in a dentist.

MAGAZINE RACK
Right. A fake Persian rug won’t harm anyone, but what if he decides to go just as cheap with his implants?
PERSIAN RUG
I know what you mean. A flimsy magazine rack from Ikea won’t last long, but a crown should.

COFFEE TABLE
Stop bickering, please. It’s miserable enough here.

PERSIAN RUG
Worse than the dumpster where they found you?

END OF ACT 1

Sunday, March 3, 2019


UMBRELLAS 

Umbrellas don’t know they’re umbrellas. Umbrellas think they’re bats; the similarity between their ribs and bats’ fingers extending under black “wings” is certainly at the root of the misconception.

Ironically, umbrellas come out when the rain falls, but they can’t get any water. Umbrellas are made of waterproof materials that make the rain bounce off of them. Umbrellas are always thirsty, and often become dehydrated.

The lifespan of umbrellas is relatively short. While their canopies are remarkably durable, their mechanisms are fragile. When unable to open, optimistic umbrellas might find new ways to be useful, serving as walking canes or devices of self-defense.

The great majority, though, end up taking their own lives: the tragic view of umbrellas turned inside out in garbage cans is all too common these days.