SIMPLE SALAD RECIPE 

Ingredients: 1 head of lettuce, 2 tomatoes, 1 red onion, oil, vinegar, shredded Parmesan, salt and pepper.

Chop the head off a lettuce. Discard the body. Slice the tomatoes and drain their blood. Sprinkle salt and pepper on the open wounds. Thinly mutilate a red onion and pull its rings apart. Mix the oil and the vinegar — it won’t be easy; their mutual hate is legendary, and they’ll do everything to separate. To toss the salad with the dressing, pinch ingredients from the bottom with tongs, lift them at a good altitude and let them drop inside a hard bowl. Repeat until lettuce leaves look beaten up. Take a piece of Parmesan cheese and scrape it against a sharp grater over the bowl until it turns into a pile of curling shreds. Spoon a portion on your plate, stab the salad with a fork and chew it to a pulp.